Closing update – attorneys are appearing to beef, but if you’ve been ‘round enuf folk posturing, selfishly entertaining each other, then you kno’ nuffin’ has changed! Not one single bit! I am sure someone I talk to will say, “no more than two weeks”! WTF?
Dr. Robert Anthony
This week I made my way to The Bush, mini west indies, largest Caribbean population outside of the Caribbean. Here in the shadows of carnival and the labor day parkway celebration that has some of the boys in blue misbehaving… care to wager on what happens… gimme nuffin’ on that! Double it!
I had the pleasure of spending some focus time with J, realizing how much of a friend she is. Supportive of my time and focus with Mish, helping me to take risks in relationships; blissfully considering more. The conversation makes its way to fishaGARDEN and spent times; both missing the space and looking forward to assisting in creating fishaBLU.
fishaGARDEN was a carryover from college and san fran experiences. I tried to establish a space that positioned strangers and friends in close proximity, close enough to share their adventures. Lovin’ how they told stories, stories that made you like what they were saying and way they were delivering it. Laughter seemed a requirement for this space. When I walked into 175 Carlton, I knew. I knew it was exactly what I found, a place to call home. My realtor at the time, Lori knew what I was in search of and she came through on a call while I was in Denver for the week. “I found it. It has all that you required. When will you be back in town to see it?”
The four requirements were simple; new construction, less than two years old; two bedrooms for Medium and I to coexist; washer and dryer as I was still coming off my marathon high and running gear could not forgo a daily wash! Lastly I needed outdoor space. San fran had me appreciating the great outdoors and I never wanted to live again without the feeling derived from having a piece of earth, my piece of earth, that was exposed to the elements. Our walk through was quick and purposeful. Criteria matched closely and the lease price was manageable. “I’ll take it. Set it up.” That was August 2004. It was the start of a beautiful relationship with mi casa, that relationship gave birth to fishaGARDEN.
Like some of my most significant relationships, I knew upon entry what this space meant to me. Posturing on all 4 categories was a space standing ripe for shelter, safety, expression, pleasure and a petri dish for creating memories. The collection of rooms at 175 was resolved in proving to be the right scale and dynamics for the compartment I wished to play and reside in. While my assessment wasn’t perfect, the space was a blank canvas enough for me to express myself as a recently divorced father; priorities proved perfect. Despite the fact the kitchen was only missing one thing… drawers! How can you have a functional kitchen that produces 6 course meals and food enough to entertain 40 people in the garden with out kitchen drawers? You design it like a European kitchen and make use of every bit of the space above, below and inside cabinets. My son’s room was the unique balance between form and function; a space that became a fort, a classroom, a roller coaster construction zone, a transportation guide and a reference for his growth; our growth. 
There was a level of comfort one received upon entry at 175. Cozy, intimate, warm and even sexy were the terms used by guest. My connection to African art, as well as artist of color, was evident in every corner of mi casa. Each playbill carried memories of live performances and the companions that I was privileged and honored to have joined me. Versatility was a must; nearly 50 candles were lit on evenings that required an atmosphere of calm. Speakers placed in ubiquitous locations were responsible for providing the sound track of a fisha experience; close your eyes and hear Dexter Gordon blowing softly in the garden on a starry moonlit evening or Jay-Z playing while the card game got loud and jokes were flowing. I expanded my repertoire in this space. Culinary techniques, flavors, presentations, parenting and honesty, were amongst my expansions. Trust when I say there is still room for expansion and growth. Yet having a reference point; a home; goes a long way in understanding from which I came and where I intend on going.
Being homeFREE offers adventures to enjoy; some anticipated others not. However freedom has its price. Thus far, that cost has been bearable, but not desirable. I can’t remember the last meal I created as I dine out for every meal. I can’t remember the feeling of walking into a space that I created for my son and me. When I share what I have been doing for the last 8 weeks, I often hear, “You are out of control.” And while presented in jest, I am in fact out of control. There is little that I control as it relates to space or parcel of earth. Little versatility. Little control over the sound track of my life. Little space 
for the dignity of simplicity when parenting in public spaces. Reservations, homework across restaurant tables. I miss the intimacy of an environment that I call home. 
