Closing update – some closings are occurring near 156, so it appears CofOs are being issued. When will my CofO be issued? Only the Lord knows! I remain optimistic and grateful for the time spent with family, friends, colleagues and the occasional stranger.
“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.”
As I leave The Bush, I am again filled with mixed emotions. Having dedicated time with J has been nothing less than rewarding and surprising. Days spent just vibin’ on all sorts of issues and topics. Her candor and insights; ingredients required to coax the residue effects of risks realized and significance dwarfed. My abbreviated muse moment ended partly due to a self-portrait of enhanced optimism the seemed to get in the way a reciprocating desire for a future state. Mutual moments of saving grace peppers a densely populated field of friendships and I am left inquiring how we got off message. However transparent, trust; trust of one’s self in the affairs of the heart is the real challenge.
J offers the acceptance that people walk into your life for a reason or a season, I continue to inquire; “what reason? which season?” Our friendship offers a super honest responsiveness, enjoying each others company save the 3:00 am-misplaced keys… get out of bed… down 6 flights… open the door… cause I’ve been hanging’ w/the fellas… and once inside… I want to play to guitar moments! The sadness of leaving that space is real and warranted, however for the sake of the very friendship I hold dear with her and others makes it necessary to vacate the let space. To not overstay my welcome. As I prepare to depart, I think about the routines established here and with others.
Since being HOMEFREE, Sundays have become the most predictable days of my homeFREEness. Time spent rejuvenating my mind, soul and wardrobe. Routines of non routines. Routine of relocating; where? Routine of reflection; what? Routine of requisition; when? Routine of relationships; who? Routine of redesign, how?
Washing clothes, those I possess and those leased through our arrangement. Reflective by all means; and ends for that matter. Orchestrating departure, checking for missed or left items, packing memories and anticipating the next stay. New vibe, new space; how to prepare without pretention. How to continue to compartmentalize without compromise. How to be at home in someone else’s home. How to capture and share that moment?
“Make yourself at home”, a phase often spoken but seldom valued or executed with any real commitment. Inherently, I want to be a good guest, so making myself at home doesn’t really work. The routine of changing routines works. I want to be inspired but the spaces I occupy. I want to change the way life feels because I have had the opportunity to make it feel better.
